embodied movement, pleasure + thc during the luteal phase

crone season is being laid to rest as mother nature births a spring of new beginnings.

my body has been deeply recalibrating and recharging these past few months.

it's been dark, messy and reflective 🪞

as my bleed begins 🩸 i am fully embodying the crone and all she represents:

magic,

sensuality,

+ wisdom.

this past luteal phase was the best i've had in quite some time.

in fact, i felt so good i thought perhaps i was pregnant! lol

but no! as i reflected on the last few weeks i see that i was more in my body than i have been and i attribute this (partially) to the reintroduction of intentional medicinal cannabis use and (partially) to the reintroduction of sex magick and tantric pleasure.

since returning to canada i have significantly cut back on cannabis but this past month i slowly reintroduced small amounts through the last half of my luteal phase and i feel fucking fantastic.

the month prior i was so mentally unwell during this phase that i checked myself into the hospital.

i then experienced first-hand the failure of allopathic medicine and the canadian sick-care industry.

i've come to realize that (1) i want to feel "good" as often as possible! and need to prioritize all the ways that set me up for that ie. movement, nourishment, pleasure, boundaries, self-care etc (2) i can't (and more often don't want to) control how i am feeling - once whatever the emotion is - hits (even when it's not a "good" feeling.)

i am super proud of myself for committing to this work of embodied living and for cultivating the ability to not just manage my emotional reactions but also to broaden my capacity to experience a wider range of emotions and increase my emotional tolerance ✨ this has NOT been easy work.

after really experiencing how inaccessible good mental health support is i've made a very conscious effort to recommit to this journey of self-acceptance and self-healing.

i am deeply appreciative of those who have supported me along the way, and of those who have expressed how my journey has positively influenced their own 🤍

xo